press play
and play again
one on a one way road
alone and lonely
to the left: ruins
exiting insanity
broken, and broken again
three times too many
the roads too windy
just get the fuck off
leave it
burn it
breathe
in
ex
hail
the driver
or do something about it
3.30.2008
3.27.2008
what in the world?
and the results are:
son of a bitch. i dont know if i should be disappointed or proud.
let me explain (from the bottom up):
spn3 - C- is failing, so i just barely made it. i definitely would've aced the class if i didnt score -50 points for attendance. attendance taking is so elementary.
ahs181 - bullshit. i thought i did best in this class. it was the only class where i felt confident on the midterm and the final. fuck you.
ahs171 - i sure hope a D is passing. this is the class where i fell asleep during the midterm and ended up writing my professor a note about why my test was so shitty.** but i felt decent about the final. i thought i did better than a damn D at least.
ahs147 - this is the class where i didnt even take the midterm!** i studied just the night before and the day of, and as i was walking to the classroom, i took a detour to my car and went to the hospital instead. ive been meaning to go to the hospital anyway (it was around the time i slammed my head on the ground).** luckily i had that accident cus i completely took advantage of it and used it as an excuse to get me excused from missing the midterm. the next class lecture, i presented my dr's note to my professor. he handed it back to me, smiled, and said "dont worry about it. the final will just count as double. hope you're feeling better." i really dont understand how i ended up doing the best in this class seeing as how i didnt study till the night before. i work in weird ways.
its 6:51 in the am and ive already posted 3 times within the past hour or so.
goodnight. or morning.
**mentioned in previous posts
son of a bitch. i dont know if i should be disappointed or proud.
let me explain (from the bottom up):
spn3 - C- is failing, so i just barely made it. i definitely would've aced the class if i didnt score -50 points for attendance. attendance taking is so elementary.
ahs181 - bullshit. i thought i did best in this class. it was the only class where i felt confident on the midterm and the final. fuck you.
ahs171 - i sure hope a D is passing. this is the class where i fell asleep during the midterm and ended up writing my professor a note about why my test was so shitty.** but i felt decent about the final. i thought i did better than a damn D at least.
ahs147 - this is the class where i didnt even take the midterm!** i studied just the night before and the day of, and as i was walking to the classroom, i took a detour to my car and went to the hospital instead. ive been meaning to go to the hospital anyway (it was around the time i slammed my head on the ground).** luckily i had that accident cus i completely took advantage of it and used it as an excuse to get me excused from missing the midterm. the next class lecture, i presented my dr's note to my professor. he handed it back to me, smiled, and said "dont worry about it. the final will just count as double. hope you're feeling better." i really dont understand how i ended up doing the best in this class seeing as how i didnt study till the night before. i work in weird ways.
its 6:51 in the am and ive already posted 3 times within the past hour or so.
goodnight. or morning.
**mentioned in previous posts
1095 days
today, 03.27.08, would have marked 3 years.
happy would-be anniversary?
out of those 1095 days together, we probably spent 95 or less of those days apart. its a lonely desperate feeling being alone and single for the first time in 8 years (with him: 3 years; with previous bf: 5 years; between the two: 2 days). he became my routine, my agenda, my life.. not just part of it. he was it. and to go from that kind of normality and stability to complete insanity is harder than one could ever imagine.
weird how we're still celebrating today. but thats what we are.. or, were.. a weird couple. not your traditional pair. which worked for and against us. and is still working for and against us.
[rock the bells 05]
happy would-be anniversary?
out of those 1095 days together, we probably spent 95 or less of those days apart. its a lonely desperate feeling being alone and single for the first time in 8 years (with him: 3 years; with previous bf: 5 years; between the two: 2 days). he became my routine, my agenda, my life.. not just part of it. he was it. and to go from that kind of normality and stability to complete insanity is harder than one could ever imagine.
weird how we're still celebrating today. but thats what we are.. or, were.. a weird couple. not your traditional pair. which worked for and against us. and is still working for and against us.
[rock the bells 05]us at our first rock the bells.
when times were easier.
when times were right.
when times were happiest.
us surrounded by the music that brought us together.
the first instances of true love.
when we fell in love.
:(
im trying so hard not to hate life right now.
when times were easier.
when times were right.
when times were happiest.
us surrounded by the music that brought us together.
the first instances of true love.
when we fell in love.
:(
im trying so hard not to hate life right now.
paid break
..chyea. i wish.
update #1: PAID DUES
so this past saturday was my second time working an event for Guerilla Union. right after failing my final, i headed straight for the NOS Events Center in ghettodino. i kicked it in the box office for half the day where i was widely entertained by the most random shit (think drunk/drugged up girls too weak to walk or stand only at 2pm, divas-and-their-dogs drama, and a real-life my-size barbie doll flaunting her flat ass and huge bazooka boobs, to say the least). i was disappointed about missing POS and busdriver. but luckily i got to see half of living legends' set and all of sage's. sucks that sage's set was kinda boring this time around.
i used to be the one right up front, sweating and vibing to the music, gettin pushed over and elbowed by the crowd, gettin high off of second-hand weed, smelling the nastiest BO, dealing with super tall guys and annoying girls, struggling to take pictures, jumping around and losing my breath while singing/rapping, etc etc. now im watching all that from the backstage. i still cant believe it. i miss being down there--the feeling of being in that crowd is like no other, but experiencing the other side of it all is so surreal. i didnt take my staff wristband off for days.
update #2: SPRING BREAK
finally! fuck! it seemed like FOREVER! only one more quarter to go (hopefully).
this break, im hoping to accomplish a lot, even though its only a week long and already midway through.
in no particular order of importance
[X] clean out garage
[X] work on ultimate brawl 8 (needs its own to do list)
[X] organize laptop
[ ] download music
[ ] fix ipod
[ ] pack
[ ] donate/sell clothes
[ ] visit LA (cus im too broke to shop)
[ ] workout
[X] go dancing
[ ] go dancing again
[ ] and again
[ ] snowboarding
[ ] six flags
join me, will you?
update #1: PAID DUES
so this past saturday was my second time working an event for Guerilla Union. right after failing my final, i headed straight for the NOS Events Center in ghettodino. i kicked it in the box office for half the day where i was widely entertained by the most random shit (think drunk/drugged up girls too weak to walk or stand only at 2pm, divas-and-their-dogs drama, and a real-life my-size barbie doll flaunting her flat ass and huge bazooka boobs, to say the least). i was disappointed about missing POS and busdriver. but luckily i got to see half of living legends' set and all of sage's. sucks that sage's set was kinda boring this time around.
i used to be the one right up front, sweating and vibing to the music, gettin pushed over and elbowed by the crowd, gettin high off of second-hand weed, smelling the nastiest BO, dealing with super tall guys and annoying girls, struggling to take pictures, jumping around and losing my breath while singing/rapping, etc etc. now im watching all that from the backstage. i still cant believe it. i miss being down there--the feeling of being in that crowd is like no other, but experiencing the other side of it all is so surreal. i didnt take my staff wristband off for days.
update #2: SPRING BREAK
finally! fuck! it seemed like FOREVER! only one more quarter to go (hopefully).
this break, im hoping to accomplish a lot, even though its only a week long and already midway through.
in no particular order of importance
[X] clean out garage
[X] work on ultimate brawl 8 (needs its own to do list)
[X] organize laptop
[ ] download music
[ ] fix ipod
[ ] pack
[ ] donate/sell clothes
[ ] visit LA (cus im too broke to shop)
[ ] workout
[X] go dancing
[ ] go dancing again
[ ] and again
[ ] snowboarding
[ ] six flags
join me, will you?
3.16.2008
finals
i really have no idea where my motivation went. back in high school i was on top of my game: ASB for 3 years, officer for numerous clubs, varsity tennis, 4.1 GPA, etc etc. and now, when it really counts, i become lazy as hell. im so close to being done, yet i keep screwing myself over. and the worst thing is: i really dont care. im so out of it. this past quarter was insane. i attended class never. one midterm i didnt study for and fell asleep while taking it then woke up and wrote my professor a lengthy note about why my blue book was blank. and i didnt even show up for my other midterm! and like i said, i just dont care anymore. i dont care. and it saddens me, it scares me, but i honestly dont know how to gain my drive back.
im blaming it on the excessive amount of stuff happening in my life. from school to my internship to 909 to my relationships to my family to God to everything. i dont want to complain, but i dont know how people handle it sometimes. so, i guess i should take that back. im blaming it on myself and my lack of motivation to be proactive and fix my shit. its a dangerous, unhealthy cycle. but i dont know where to start to stop it.
on a ligher note: this past weekend was so much fun!
spent some time out in big bear with some great company. went boarding with some great company. performed and danced with some great company. the time spent with them was much needed. yet again the time spent with them was much needed for studying. you see: dangerous, unhealthy cycle.
more. stay posted.
im blaming it on the excessive amount of stuff happening in my life. from school to my internship to 909 to my relationships to my family to God to everything. i dont want to complain, but i dont know how people handle it sometimes. so, i guess i should take that back. im blaming it on myself and my lack of motivation to be proactive and fix my shit. its a dangerous, unhealthy cycle. but i dont know where to start to stop it.
on a ligher note: this past weekend was so much fun!
spent some time out in big bear with some great company. went boarding with some great company. performed and danced with some great company. the time spent with them was much needed. yet again the time spent with them was much needed for studying. you see: dangerous, unhealthy cycle.
more. stay posted.
3.02.2008
full out
next weekend, 909 returns here as defending champs:
[BATTLEFEST 360]
in the midst of all preparation for this competition, all the early morning practices, all the run-throughs, all the choreo learning, all the drama feeding, and the crying, and the ups and downs and all that bullshit, i hurt myself. pretty bad. during a dance i slammed my head against the pavement. it didnt even hit me till maybe a couple seconds later what i had just done, and even then i still didnt feel the pain. i remember grabbing my forehead and falling to the floor on my back, kinda laughing, kinda moaning, hoping no one saw it. but of course everyone did. and if they didnt see it, they heard it, or so i was told.
it was exactly like how you'd see it on tv. everyone crowding around you, just staring at you laying there. a teammate was asking me questions like where i was at, who i was with, what i was doing, and i just kept saying, dude im ok. its not even that bad. while at the same time i felt the most massive bump grow beneath my hand. the reaction of my team when i moved my hand from my head was priceless! i spent the rest of the night at the ER (which, may i add, was hands down the craziest trip to the ER i have ever experienced).
i really wish i had a picture to post right now.
[BATTLEFEST 360]in the midst of all preparation for this competition, all the early morning practices, all the run-throughs, all the choreo learning, all the drama feeding, and the crying, and the ups and downs and all that bullshit, i hurt myself. pretty bad. during a dance i slammed my head against the pavement. it didnt even hit me till maybe a couple seconds later what i had just done, and even then i still didnt feel the pain. i remember grabbing my forehead and falling to the floor on my back, kinda laughing, kinda moaning, hoping no one saw it. but of course everyone did. and if they didnt see it, they heard it, or so i was told.
it was exactly like how you'd see it on tv. everyone crowding around you, just staring at you laying there. a teammate was asking me questions like where i was at, who i was with, what i was doing, and i just kept saying, dude im ok. its not even that bad. while at the same time i felt the most massive bump grow beneath my hand. the reaction of my team when i moved my hand from my head was priceless! i spent the rest of the night at the ER (which, may i add, was hands down the craziest trip to the ER i have ever experienced).
i really wish i had a picture to post right now.
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